As I expressed in my previous post I have been having a pretty hard time adjusting to this new chapter of my life. My entire life has been go go go and that works well for me. Because Harold and I are getting married in June it has made it difficult for me to find a job that is both flexible, something that I enjoy, and temporary as I have no clue where we will be posting. It may not seem that stressful or something to get upset about as June isn’t so far away, but because of the training Harold will have after he graduates we will most likely move at least 3 times within the first year that we are married! That is a lot! And that means that in each place that we live I will be looking for a new job that once again is temporary and hopefully something that I can find joy in doing. I know that marriage requires sacrifice and marrying someone in the Army requires A LOT of sacrifice and I am willing to do that because I love Harold but that certainly doesn’t mean that it is easy.
I don’t expect life to be easy but sometimes it is hard to just free myself from worry and completely give control to God without questioning how, when, what, and where. I still have no clue how I personally fit into army life, but during this time I have found my strength and assurance through the friendships and support system that God has blessed me with. I am fairly independent and like to believe that I can handle anything thrown my way but the truth is that I can only do it with the help of the people around me who are constantly lifting me up in prayer, giving me their time and advice when I need it, and helping me further strengthen my relationship with God. I am lucky to have a lot of people in my life that I look up to spiritually along with Harold and my friends who are West Point graduates who are or have already been through a lot of the changes we have in store for us. So thank you! Thank you to all the people who I am fortunate to know who have selflessly been pouring God’s love and peace over me. Thank you to those of you who are reading this because you are taking the time to listen. Thank you to every person who makes sacrifices for the good of others, especially to those in the military and their spouses because I have never appreciated you more than I do now. You never know the difference you can make in someone’s life so love like Jesus and surely you will change lives like Jesus did!
Something else I have started to realize is that while I am use to living a very busy life God could be giving me this time as a time of rest and restoration. I have always tried to put God first in everything that I do and make sure I spend alone time with Him, but of course when you are doing 100 things at once sometimes you just push God aside until you have time, which I have to admit I have done in the past. God is giving me time and maybe I’m not supposed to try and fill all of it with work, maybe I am simply supposed to spend that time fully with Him. I am challenging myself to take advantage of this time given to me and use it to fall more in love with my Savior as I learn more about what it means to be a wife and have a marriage that glorifies God.
I have also finally made a decision to move home for the remainder of my time before the wedding. It was a hard decision but after a lot of prayer I finally have peace and I am excited to be able to spend time with my family before my adventure really takes off! I ask that you continue to pray for me and I can’t wait to report back to say how God has been working through all of this!
A little update after speaking with more friends and being filled with so much encouragement: One of Harold’s best friends Chris told me that having the problem I have because I found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with is a really good problem to have, and wow he couldn’t be more right. It may be a struggle of mine right now but man is it just a grain of sand when I realize how immensely fortunate I am to have found my love. Harold’s grandmother (we have become especially close) told me that most people say that in a relationship you each give 50% but really both people should give 100% of themselves for the other and if both are doing so then both receive the love and support they need.
Truth is I was having a hard transition and I let myself get caught up in the “me” instead of the “we” and I know I will continue to have moments of weakness but time and time again my friends and support system will lift me up and redirect my eyes on what is important! My heart feels so much peace and I am ready to take advantage of each opportunity given to me and also not to be afraid to chase after new ones!
Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”
A quick and more upbeat update about Harold and I:
The weekend of August 22 I was able to visit Harold at West Point for Ring Weekend. Ring Weekend has become a very special tradition at West Point where all of the Firsties (Seniors) receive their class rings and there is a dinner and dance to celebrate which is also a lot of fun! Watching Harold march down to Trophy Point in one of his dress uniforms was such a special moment that made me so proud of Him. Harold is an outstanding guy, literally the greatest person I have ever known and I have had the privilege of meeting and becoming great friends with a number of other cadets. I don’t have the words to express the caliber of men and women these cadets are and it was overwhelming to recognize them as a whole knowing that they are the men and women protecting our Country. It was an emotional day for me because I didn’t just see a handsome man in uniform, I saw a man who is willing to give his life to protect you and me, a man that doesn’t take his duty lightly, a man that any person is lucky to know and be served by, a man who is following God’s calling without hesitation and a man that I love with all of my heart (I totally just started crying writing this), to say that I was proud is an understatement. This is by no means an easy path, but gosh am I lucky to have such a man in my life who loves and serves me in the same way!
Harold’s best friend (my cousin) Tommy and his wife Tati (who has become such an incredible friend and support system to me) also made the trip up to West Point to support Harold. We had such a fun time together and for Harold and I it was one of our very favorite times together!