I want more of you God

The other night my husband and I were lying on the couch talking about our future. As you may know my husband is not only a very big dreamer but a doer, when he has a dream he will do everything in his power to see it through, I love that so much about him. He looked at me and ask me what I am passionate about. Without hesitation I said Jesus. After that we sat in silence for some time.

I don’t think my answer was what he was expecting, actually it wasn’t even how I expected myself to answer the question. My husband has such a passion for furthering science and exploration along with a multitude of other things. While I’ve always had lots of hobbies and love experiencing new things there hasn’t truly been anything that sets me on fire, that fills me with an overwhelming sense of purpose. I didn’t grow up dreaming of one specific route for my life and even still sometimes I think “should I be pursing something greater? Did I mess up? Did I miss opportunities or choose not to take them because I was crippled by fear?” How do you accomplish your goals if you aren’t really sure what they are?

But I do know. They may not be goals that make me successful in our world but I am finally okay with that. My goals are to bring people to Jesus, to live my life with love and be ready and willing for God to use me whenever He chooses. I have passion and I have drive and more importantly I have a GREAT God who can and will use me. Jesus is my passion. My heart cries “there’s no place I would rather be than here in your love, I want more of you God” and today I want to say that that is enough.

Today I choose to stop living my life trying to meet other people’s expectations of what my life should look like, what career path means I am doing something important, or as if my value is found in numbers. I am tired of spending my time thinking of ways that I can “make it” in other peoples eyes, it’s time to let go of what the world expects of me and start living wholly for my God who sets my soul on fire.

I want more of you God,

Rachel

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2 Comments

  1. October 6, 2015 / 3:54 pm

    Rachel, I was having these exact feelings this morning! I really needed to read something like this today! Since my husband and I moved here, I’ve struggled with finding a job. So I’ve taken this opportunity to focus more on being a wife and bettering myself and my relationship with God. I feel like I’m in a great place! But it makes me feel worthless when my family members call and constantly ask why I haven’t been working. So I definitely relate to everything that you mentioned! Thank you for writing this and reminding me that I’m not alone!

    • October 6, 2015 / 4:05 pm

      You aren’t alone and spending your time being a good wife and focusing on your relationship with God is the best thing you could be doing! I know how hard it is when family doesn’t understand but like I said it is enough to just be with God. Don’t let the world put you down. I’ll keep you in my prayers as I continue to pray that I can always remember this and not fall back into feeling like I need to please the world.